Weird morning, I woke up and my bed was floating in the middle of an ocean. Usually I’d be freaked out by it, but then a mermaid came up and told me it was time to get up. So I grabbed my inflatable little bubble and jumped out of my bed, and swam around my room for a while.
Decided that I needed a break from swimming, I then opened up the bubble and walked over to my kitchen to grab a bite of Kelp Snacks. Kelp isn’t that bad now that I’ve tried it.
CNN had nothing new on today, just repeats of last weeks news cast. I swear these days the news is like how it was back in 2006… Osalami bin Lassie, the new Scottish terrorist has been threatening the eastern front of Canada again. Threatening to blow up the whole island of Newfoundland. There are all these pictures of all these little sea people pleading with bin Lassie telling him not to blow up their home. Seem the sea people, or as we Ameridjans like to call them Siriastri, burrowed their homes underneath the whole island of Newfoundland. There is a whole civilization, which rivals Atlantis, and it’s all underwater.
Well I turn off the news, and debate whether or not to go and grab my daily brain injection. The injection seems that it keeps all of us humans from going dumb. Back in 2005, I was told that a president George W. Bush enacted the No Child Left Behind Act. Which after the bill was past all Americans went dumb and forgot how to spell America. So the new name for America was declared Ameridja. In lieu of those events, the scientists developed a daily injection, which prevents us from going dumb. Recently a law was passed which makes daily brain injections mandatory for everyone from the ages of 1-1000….
A doorbell awakens me from my stupor, feeling already that I regret not having my brain injection. A lady with snakes in her hair is on the other side of the door. She is handing out pod casts of Emperor Nnnurak’s latest conquest of Pretoria. I open up the leaflet and watch the pod cast. Emperor Nnnurak is talking in Wassibian, which I’m told used to be a dialect of Spanish, which was mixed with an alien dialect and voila it, became Wassibian.
Pretoria, for all of you who don’t know is what used to be Washington, DC. And King Dubya of Pretoria used to be former president George W. Bush.
I close the door, and go outside to bask in the warm fuchsia glow. There are numerous creatures walking down the street. One in particular catches my attention; it is a two-headed purple monkey riding a tandem bike. The monkey waves at me, as if I looked familiar. When in fact I’ve never seen this creature before.
Walking down the street, I look down to the ground, realizing in fact that I’m not walking on the ground. But in fact, I’m walking on a floating path that moves me along to my destination. This is all freaky…Way too freaky. Maybe I’ll update later when I get my daily brain injection. Or maybe not? Who knows?